


Childhood was Never Meant to Hurt

by turtles_and_revolution



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Anxiety Attacks, Canon Non-Binary Character, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Flashbacks, Headspace, Non-Sexual Age Play, Past Child Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Someone's a good dad, Stuffed Toys, Thomas is a good Dad, Thumb-sucking, Wetting, like DID is a huge part of this so yeah, or Morality???, will tag as I go
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-08
Updated: 2017-04-10
Packaged: 2018-10-16 05:49:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10564887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/turtles_and_revolution/pseuds/turtles_and_revolution
Summary: Thomas didn't know what to expect when he took in Stanley as his roommate, but it definitely wasn't this.





	1. Chapter 1

Andy sat on their twin bed, rocking back and forth, mindlessly sucking their thumb. They hadn't left their room for four days, except to grab food and go to the bathroom. They didn't want Thomas to see them. Actually, they didn't know what they wanted Thomas to do. They had fought with themself, as well as their older personalities on the subject during the duration of their self isolation. Flower was terrified that Thomas would hurt them, even though Andy knew that would never hurt them. Mother feared that Thomas would not know how to take care of Andy and hurt their feelings by accident, like their last carer did. And Stanley was scared that Thomas would them less of him if he saw Andy. It always hurt Andy to see how scared their little mind family was for them. Stanley was the host, and Andy had seen why he was always so scared. Why all of them were scared. All of them except Andy. Andy wanted to go out and meet Thomas and make a new friend and be less lonely.

"I think Mr. Thomas would understand." The toddler said to their family. Mother nodded silently.

"Yes dear, I'm sure he would. He's a very kind person. But so was Casey, and he broke your heart." She explained, her voice sweet and warm.

"He didn't mean to. That was my fault." Andy sighed, remembering that tantrum that led their old Papa to start yelling mean things at them.

"That was not your fault. You were scared and lonely and acted the only way you knew how." Mother assured them.

"Words are just really hard sometimes." Andy mumbled, mostly to themself.

"Oh, I know sweetheart. But people don't understand that. Thomas won't understand that." She cradled their tiny body in their headspace, while in the real world, they clung to their stuffed dog, Toto, tears streaming silently down their face.

"Thomas won't understand us. We aren't like normal people. I'm fucked up and you're all stuck here with me and he'll hate me if he sees you." Stanley reminded Andy, as softly as he could.

"Stanley, stop saying that." Mother interjected.

"Besides," Stanley continued, paying Mother no mind," the real world is no place for children. They can't defend themself out there and there are horrible people. They're too young to know that everyone else is going to want to destroy them. They're kind, young, and naive and the world is cruel and viscious and they won't stand a fucking chance."

It was silent, and Andy was made aware that they had begun sobbing in Mother's arms. Darkness surrounded Stanley, scaring Flower and Andy both. Neither of them had heard too much about the stuff Stanley hid, but they knew about the Darkness that followed him. Flower said she had met the girl in the basement and she knew why Stanley had the Darkness, but it was rare that Stanley let it out.

"Stanley," Somehow Mother sounded calm, "being a child was never meant to hurt. Remember, Andy's your second chance, let them be the kid you never got to be."

Andy trembled in Mother's arm, still crying. They heard their sister whimper in fear as the Darkness rose, then settled. She reached out and grabbed their hand, the touch of petals and skin soothing them slightly.

"I can't lose another one. I don't want to lose them." Stanley's voice cracked. Mother walked toward him, Andy still safe in her arms.

"You won't lose them. You're not alone anymore." Mother promised the teen. The little family embraced for a short while. When they released, Andy was sat on the floor, right next to Flower.

"I want to play." They said, looking up expectantly at Mother.

"Well you have plenty of toys here." She smiled. Andy frowned. She wasn't understanding them.

"I want to play in the real world. With Thomas." They demanded. They felt a tantrum coming on. They'd been hearing everyone tell them "no" for the past four days, and they were lonely, and scared, and no one was listening to them, and they wanted someone real to hug them and kiss them and take care of them, and they wanted to be a little kid, and their heart was hurting from all the feelings and they were forgetting their words again.

"Andy, it's safer here." Flower signed, trying to comfort them.

"NO! I want to go out and play with Thomas in the real world! I'm going to play with Thomas!" They shouted, tears welling in their eyes. They squeezed their eyes shut and wailed.

When they opened their eyes they were back in the real world. That's when the panic shut in. They were alone. They could face Thomas, or they could sit here in their room til Stanley or someone else has the strength to take over. Thoughts raced through their minds as their heart kept beating faster and faster. Before they knew it they were curled in a ball, shaking, sobbing, and breathing too fast.  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
He hadn't seen Stanley in four days. Thomas knew his roommate had depressive episodes, though he didn't really know the extent. But this was starting to get worrying. He knew Stanley wouldn't kill himself, he wasn't worried about that. The college student had stated many times how he thought suicide was selfish and horrible. But it wasn't healthy for someone to isolate themself like this. Plus, the apartment was kind of quiet without Stanley running around singing show tunes. Thomas missed him.

He was watching Steven Universe when he heard it.

A scream.

At first he thought he had imagined it. No, Stanley would never scream like that. It almost sounded like a child. That couldn't be Stanley. Thomas tried to ignore it, attempted to brush aside the growing worry in the back of his mind. But he fears got the best of him and he rushed up the stairs to Stanley's room.

"Stan? You ok?" He called out.

No response.

"Stanley?"

A soft whimper, barely audible, called back.

"Are you ok? Can I come in?"

Thomas heard crying and shallow breaths.

He opened the door slowly, trying not to frighten his friend. He saw a figure scamper under the bed as he walked in.

"Odd" He thought to himself. He walked slowly over to bed and lay on his stomach next to the bed. Underneath was Stanley, tears streaking his face, clutching a stuffed dog. His eyes looked younger than normal, which worried Thomas further. Was he having a flashback?

"Hey Stan. What's wrong?" He asked, his voice gentle. The boy stared back, still looking terrified.

"Stanley, it's me, Thomas. I'm not going to hurt you. You're safe here." Thomas promised. Stanley looked at his stuffed dog, as if looking to it for answers, then back to Thomas.

"Not Stanley." He said, his voice quiet and young. Thomas was taken aback by this odd statement, but played along.

"No? Then who might you be?" He asked. The boy looked to his dog again.

"I'm Andy. I'm three years old" His speech pattern sounded like a toddler. Thomas pretended not to notice.

"Well then, Andy, would you mind coming out from under there?" Thomas requested, holding his hand out to Andy.

"You not gonna hurt me?" Andy asked, and Thomas's heart broke. Even as a child, Stanley, or Andy, was expecting to be hurt.

"No, of course not. I want to help you." Thomas promised. The child looked to his dog one last time before taking Thomas's hand and allowing himself to be pulled into the mans arms.  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Here they were, face to face with the problem they'd been avoiding for the past four days and they were petrified. They couldn't hide now.

"Hey Stan, what wrong?" He said. He looked kind and gentle, like Mother, but he also looked worried, like Stanley.

They couldn't speak. Couldn't get their mouth to move. Couldn't tell Thomas they weren't Stanley. They actually didn't know what their name was. They forgot. They were to scared.

"Stanley, it's me Thomas. I'm not going to hurt you. You're safe here."

'Not gonna hurt me. Not bad. Not Darkness. Not gonna hurt me.' They thought, trying to clear their mind enough to remember who they were.

"Not Stanley." The words came out of their mouth. Oh no! They said that, Thomas heard them. He hates them now. He's gonna yell, and scream, and hurt them now.

Instead Thomas smiled and kept talking in his kind voice.

"No? Then who might you be?"

They still couldn't remember. Their mind was still racing with other, much scarier things. Toto barked at them. Of course! Toto would tell them what to say.

"You're Andy, and you're three years old." Toto reminded them. That's what they'd tell Thomas.

"I'm Andy. I'm three years old." They tried extra hard to make sure they made their 'thr' sound correctly. They didn't want Thomas to think they were just a stupid baby.

"Well then, Andy, would you mind coming out from under there?" He reached under the bed and Andy wanted to shy away from his hand. What if he hit them? But there wasn't anywhere to go. Stanley's outburst floated through their head. Did grown ups only want to hurt kids?

"You not gonna hurt me?" They knew the question was stupid. Thomas was probably angry at them for asking.

"No, of course not. I want to help you." He said, his smile now a little bit sad. They had messed it up. But maybe they could make it up. They looked to Toto, who always knew what to do.

"He's not bad. I think he might like you." Toto encouraged the toddler. Andy grabbed the man's hand and felt themself be pulled into his arms. Warm, strong arms wrapped around them, surrounding them in safety. Their hands grabbed Thomas's shirt and clung to him. He sat on the bed, holding the child tight. And Andy let themself cry. It felt so good to have a real human person hold them. They were hurting so much and they just let it all out. They felt finally so safe and loved and cared for. They cried into his neck as he rubbed their back.

"It's ok. I'm here. Nothing's gonna hurt you." He kept saying over and over, and Andy believed him.

Eventually they ran out of tears and had to face Thomas. They pulled away from Thomas's neck, their face blotchy and wet. Thomas was still smiling. He was like a warm beam of sunshine to Andy.

"Feeling better?" He asked. Andy nodded. They felt so much better than they did before, except they were a little sleepy now.

"That's good. Oh yeah, you dropped this." Thomas held up Toto, who didn't look too happy about being dropped, but Andy knew that he wasn't super mad because he knows they sometimes do silly things when they're sad.

"Toto! I'm sorry Toto, I didn't mean to." They apologized, snatching the dog from Thomas and hugging him tightly. Thomas chuckled at the kid. Andy looked up at him.

"Andy, I don't think we've met before. I'm Thomas, but I'm sure you knew that much." Thomas introduced himself to the little one. Andy giggled and nodded.

"I know you. I used to watch your videos when I lived in Wisconsin." Andy said with a big smile. They knew Thomas through Stanley too, but they didn't think Thomas would understand that.

"You did?" Thomas asked, encouraging Andy to continue.

"Yep! I really like the Sanders sides ones cause it's a lot like what my heads like. Anxiety reminds me a lot of Stanley." Andy continued, glad to finally have a friend to talk to. Understanding dawned on Thomas's face.

"You have disassociative identity disorder." He said in a soft voice, almost to himself.

"Yeah, don't worry though, I'm the littlest, so you don't gotta worry about the others." Andy carried on, not noticing Thomas's stunned look. Thomas snapped back almost instantly, looking down at the child he was holding.

"So you're really three." Thomas said, still a little bit stunned. Andy was confused. Why was this so hard for him to understand?

"Yeah. Of course I'm three." They said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Like sippy cups and pacifiers and pull ups three?" Thomas asked, still seeming confused. Andy nodded, starting to grow worried. What if Thomas does hate them? What if he kicks them out? What if he hurts them like Stanley said? Tears starting forming again, Andy's worries getting the best of them.

Thomas noticed immediately and went instantly into dad mode.

"Hey, no, please don't cry again. I don't mind. There's nothing wrong with you. It just confused me a little bit, but I'll figure it out. It's ok, you're ok." He kissed their forehead and wiped away their tears. Andy looked up at him. Something about him told them that he'd take really good care of them.


	2. Chocolate Milk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas makes Andy dinner, but all does not go as planned

Thomas quickly remembered that the child hadn't really eaten anything in four days, other than cereal and some granola bars. He took Andy's hand, seeing as they weren't too keen on letting Thomas go for a second, and led them down the stairs to the kitchen.  
"So, Andy, since you're so young, does that mean you need someone to take care of you?" Thomas asked as the pair walked down the stairs.  
"Oh, um, yeah," the toddler answered apprehensively,"but you don't got to, I can take okay care of myself an I know you probby don't like me enough to take care of me cause I'm too much work."  
Thomas stopped at the bottom of the stairs and faced them with sorry eyes. He knew what Stanley had gone through was probably influencing Andy's fear. God, he hoped the kid didn't know about that. He saw how it affected Stanley as an adult, he had no idea what abuse like that would do to a toddler.   
"Andy, sweetie, I guarantee that I'm capable of taking care of you. Different people have different needs, and that okay. I do like you, and I want you to be happy." He assured them, wrapping them up in yet another hug. He didn't want to spoil the kid, but you can't spoil someone with love, and he was pretty sure Andy needed all the love he could get. Andy leaned into the hug, holding Thomas as close to them as they could, not wanting to be alone ever again. They've had a taste of love, and they wanted more. Thomas had wiped away the loneliness and fear they were so used to feeling. They were loved, and they loved it.  
"Please keep me safe." They whispered. It had slipped out. They hadn't meant for Thomas to hear that. They felt so comfortable in his arms, for a split second they forgot how to keep their thoughts to themself and they said what they've always desired, someone to protect them. Before Andy even had time to doubt themself, Thomas spoke.  
"I won't let anything hurt you." He promised.  
Tears were running down Andy's face again, but they were pretty sure those were happy tears.  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Thomas carried Andy to the kitchen, when the toddler absolutely refused to let go. He hadn't realized how skinny his roommate actually was since he always wore baggy clothes to hide his curves, but picking him up made Thomas realize how tiny the boy was. It was a struggle to get Andy down into the chair, since they still didn't want to let him go.  
"C'mon Andy, you need to eat." Thomas said, trying to shake the little monkey off of him.   
"No, want hug." Andy said, hanging on tightly to Thomas. The youtuber chalked up their clinginess to all that they had gone through in the past half hour, and the fact that they had barely eaten anything in four days, and the dark circles under their eyes, all things that were known to make toddlers very uncooperative. Except right now, he needed cooperation so he could feed the kid and let them get some rest. He'd need to bargain.  
"You know what, I don't think you have many toys do you?" Thomas said, deciding that toys was the best way to bribe a kid.  
"I don't got any." Andy replied, curious about where this was going. Thomas's heart broke just a little. He wondered how long this poor kid had gone just existing and not really being a kid.  
"If you let go of me, I'll let you spend 200 whole dollars at Toys R Us." Thomas initially was going to go with only one toy, but he wasn't going to make this adorable kid choose just one. And knowing himself, he'd probably end up playing with a lot of the toys Andy picked.  
"Really?" They perked up hearing this.  
"Yep." Thomas said with a smile. It was almost comedic how fast Andy crawled into the chair after that, allowing Thomas to get cooking.  
"So what kind of food do you like?" Thomas asked, looking through his cupboards to see if he had anything a child would like. Being Thomas, almost everything was kid friendly food. Looking at the ten boxes at mac and cheese he had, Thomas figured maybe he and Andy would have a lot in common.   
"I dunno, what do you got?"  
It dawned on Thomas that Andy probably didn't eat all that much, and when they did it was likely very simple food that didn't require preparation.  
"How does mac and cheese and hot dogs sound?" Thomas said, deciding that maybe it wouldn't hurt to start getting through that stash.  
"My dad used to make that all the time!" Andy said excitedly. Thomas chuckled, filling a pot with water.  
"Did he now?" He encouraged the boy.   
"Yeah, whenever we went to visit him he'd always make me an my brother that! I think it's cause that's the only thing he knew how to make." Andy continued happily sharing their story with Thomas. He actually wanted to hear what they had to say! He was interested! He must like them!  
"Well, to be fair, a lot of dad's can't cook." Thomas chuckled.   
"Really?" Andy asked.   
"Yeah, you know Morality?" Thomas said, stirring the boiling pot of mac and cheese.  
"That's Dad!" Andy exclaimed.  
"Yep, that's him. Well me and my Sanders sides are just like you and Stanley and whenever Morality comes out, oh boy, he has no idea how to cook." Thomas joked. Andy was taken aback by the news that Thomas was like them.  
"So Anxiety and Roman and Logan are all real too?" They asked, very curious.   
"Yep. They all exist and like to take over sometimes." Thomas explained, as though it was no big deal. A question dug at the back of Andy's mind.  
"Do you have a little?" They knew they were being nosy, but they needed to know. They needed to know that there was someone like them. Thomas turned around, confused.  
"A what?"   
"A little. A little kid in a big person. Like me." Andy explained, leaning forward, eager to hear the answer.  
"I don't think I do. But it's possible, most of my personalities are relatively new. There could very easily be one I don't know about." Thomas shrugged and turned back to the food, which was almost done.   
"Hey, sweetie, what do you want to drink?" Thomas asked once he had stirred the cheese into the mac. Andy thought for a moment.  
"Do you have chocolate milk?"   
Thomas smiled and pulled the milk and chocolate syrup out of the fridge.  
"One glass of chocolate milk, coming right up." Thomas shouted, pretending to work in a diner, causing Andy to giggle gleefully. They swung their feet excitedly as they watched Thomas very dramatically pour the syrup into the milk and stir it. When he was done he handed the glass to Andy, soon followed by a plate of cut up hot dog and mac and cheese. Andy completely forewent to fork provided to them and messily ate with his head. Thomas watched, smiling as he ate what was left straight out of the pot. The less plates he used the less dishes he'd have to do. The two ate in content silence, Andy occasionally trying to feed some hot dog to Toto. Then Andy reached for their glass and very clumsily knocked it off the table. It fell, shattering into pieces on the tile floor. Almost instantly, Andy started wailing. Thomas rushed into action grabbing the broom and sweeping up the glass shards as quickly as he could, all while assuring Andy that everything was alright. All the glass was clean up and Thomas had begun mopping up the milk when he saw it. Drops of blood fell to the floor, as well as a puddle under Andy that wasn't chocolate milk.   
"Oh, honey." Thomas muttered sympathetically. He pulled the sobbing toddler's chair away from the mess to attend to their wound. Thomas gingerly grabbed their foot and observed the damage. A glass shard had found its way across the top of their foot, leaving a large gash that was bleeding quite a bit. Thomas was thankful that he wouldn't have to pull anything out. But he was going to have to disinfect it and that would not be fun for Andy.  
"Okay sweetie, you're gonna be fine. I'm going to be right back, I just have to get the first aid kit." Thomas assured Andy before running off to the bathroom to grab what he needed. He also grabbed a pair of sweatpants from the laundry room on his way back. He could tell Morality was coming out, and he figured maybe Morality is best in this situation because Thomas had very limited experience with toddlers. Morality returned to the kitchen to a still sobbing Andy sucking their thumb furiously and clutching Toto. He searched to kit for Neosporin, finding it quickly. He knew he was about to see a lot more tears.  
"Alright, honey, this is going to sting a bit." Morality warned before spraying the cut. Andy screamed, kicking with their other foot, trying to get the offending spray away from them.  
"I know, kiddo, it's almost over." he promised, quickly cleaning the area around the gash and bandaging it, kissing the bandage when he was done, which seemed to calm down Andy a little bit. Once the blood was gone and their foot stopped hurting, Andy flushed bright red realizing their pants were wet. A whole new set of tears started falling down their face. Morality decided that Andy was not going to change themself and he'd just have to do it. He laid the toddler on the floor and quickly changed them out of their wet pants into the sweats he had grabbed. When he was done, he didn't care at all about the mess still left to clean up, he had a very distraught child to comfort. Morality scooped them up into his arms and rocked the crying toddler.  
"Shhh, it's okay. Accidents happen. You're okay. I'm here. Daddy's right here." He cooed. He knew the only way to soothe a tired and emotional toddler was to just let them cry it out in your arms. And so he did. He held them and rocked them and comforted them until sobs quieted into sniffles quieted into the calm breathing of a sleeping child. Morality smiled. His job was done here and it was time for Thomas to come back, who immediately rocked Andy even though they were already sleeping. He carried them into his room and tucked them into his bed. He laid down next to them, on top of the covers and dozed off there, because he'd be damned if he was gonna let this poor baby wake up alone and scared ever again.


	3. Bubble Baths and Legos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas takes Andy to Toys R Us and discovers the two have quite a bit in common.

They were running, running as fast as their tiny legs could carry them. The Darkness, the Bad Man, the girl in the basement, they were chasing Andy. Toto had tried to protect them, but the Darkness was quick to destroy him. They didn't stand a chance now. They could only run for so long until they all caught up. Out of nowhere, the Bad Man appeared in front of them, his eyes no longer hollow and dead. He was a real man, with a real face. And somehow, that was worse. He looked more like a monster than a black, teeth gnashing silhouette ever could. Andy stopped dead in their tracks, nowhere to run to now. The Darkness and the girl were closing in on him. The Bad Man smiled and his arms reached out, much farther than they should have, and he ran his clawed hands down their body. They wanted to scream, but when they opened their mouth, no sound came out. They watched, helpless as the haunting trio all grinned lustfully. They took the forms of humans now, with faces they remembered as if from another life. They closed in on the toddler, still grinning, and launched themselves at them.  
Andy woke with a start, shooting straight up in the bed. Light was filtering through the blinds and they could tell it was morning. They looked around, expecting to see the terrible faces and saw only Thomas, sleeping soundly beside them. They're heart was still racing as they tried to figure out if what had just happened was real or a dream. They would talk to Toto. Toto was always able to help them. But where was Toto? They lifted up the blanket in search of their beloved dog.   
Oh no.  
Toto was nowhere to be found, but that suddenly didn't matter. Andy stared, horrified at the darkened circle under them on the sheets. They were frozen, thousands of thoughts racing through their head.   
Not here. Not in Thomas's bed. He'll be so angry. He's gonna hate them. He might even hit them. They were horrible. They were such a bad kid. They needed to run away. They needed to hide.  
They quietly crawled out of the bed, careful not to wake Thomas. They couldn't wake up Thomas, then he'd see what they did and he'd be so angry. They didn't even notice Toto laying on the floor, abandoned, as they ran out of the room in search of a place to hide. They looked around, trying to figure out someplace where Thomas would never find them. They ran to the bathroom and locked the door behind them. Surely Thomas won't be able to get to them if he can't get in. They crawled into a cupboard, just in case he did manage to get in, and curled up into a ball and sobbed. They were such a bad kid. They just got Thomas to like them and now they ruined it. They just had to have that stupid dream and they just had to wet the bed. They were nothing but a stupid baby. Everyone was right. They should've never left the headspace. They could've just avoided this whole thing by listening to Mother and Stanley and Flower. But they didn't, and now here they were wet and cold and itchy and hungry and scared. They didn't even have Toto to comfort them. Toto was probably dead because of their stupid dream. And all they had now was themself, shaking in a bathroom cupboard.  
\-------------------------------------------------------------  
Thomas woke up when his alarm clock very rudely decided to remind him that it was nine o' clock. He groaned and slammed the off button, turning over away from the light. Then he remembered. Andy. He was sleeping with Andy last night, so where had he gone. He sat up, expecting to see the kid in the kitchen, probably making some kind of mess. Instead he saw, right beside him, a tear stained pillow and wet sheets.   
"Crap." Thomas muttered, hopping out of bed to remove the dirty sheets. Nothing a little wash couldn't fix. But he saw something rather odd on the other side of the bed. Toto was laying on the ground, completely forgotten. That didn't make sense. Andy seemed incredibly attached to that thing. Thomas stared at the abandoned toy when it hit him. Andy had run off. Thomas picked up the stuffed dog, which also needed to be washed and took off, searching the apartment for any sign of Andy. First, he ran up to the boys room but saw nothing there except a pacifier in the closet. He grabbed it, figuring it might be helpful. Next he looked in every closet, seeing nothing out of the ordinary. He checked the kitchen, nothing. Laundry room, nope. Living room, nada. The only place left to check was the bathroom. He tried to open the door and found it had been locked.  
"Andy?" Thomas called out,"Are you in there?"  
No response, but Thomas could hear very quiet crying from behind the door. He frowned and went to grab the key. It had become clear to Thomas that how Stanley had grown up managed to impact Andy as well. It hurt to see someone so young to have had so much damage done to them. Thomas hoped he'd be able to fix all the stuff the toddler had dealt with. He unlocked the door and the crying stopped instantly. Thomas opened the cupboard slowly, considering that was the only place Andy could possibly be.   
"I'm sorry!" the boy cried out, flinching at the sight of Thomas, protecting his face with his arm. It broke Thomas's heart to see him like this.   
"I didn't mean to! Please don't hurt me! Please! I'm sorry!" He cried, his word becoming more and more urgent. Thomas reached out and gingerly set his hand on the child's arm.  
"It's okay, sweetie. I know it's not your fault. It happens. I'm not mad." Thomas assured him, gently lowering Andy's arm as he spoke. Andy's face was flushed red, wet with snot and tears, his eyes puffy and red. Thomas carefully wiped away his tears, his movements slow and soft.   
"You're not?" Andy asked, his voice quiet and timid. Thomas shook his head.  
"Absolutely not. There's nothing to be mad about." Thomas promised.   
"But... I had an accident." Andy argued, still visibly terrified.  
"And it was just that, an accident. It's nothing a run through the wash can't fix. Now come out of there, okay? Toto's waiting for you." Thomas waved the toy in front of Andy, luring the child out of his hiding place. He crawled out, latching onto the dog. Quiet tears started falling over his lashes into the stuffed animal. Thomas wrapped his arm around the little boy, comforting him as best he can. He saw Andy's thumb slip into his mouth and he remembered the pacifier in his back pocket. He pulled it out and removed Andy's thumb from his mouth, offering the pacifier as a substitute. After a moment of hesitation, the boy slipped the nipple into his mouth. He leaned into Thomas, letting the man hold him tight.  
\-----------------------------------------------------  
They sucked happily on the pacifier, swinging their legs as they sat on the counter. Thomas was in front of them, running a bath, complete with bubbles and a rubber ducky! Andy looked at Toto, a huge smile on their face. They never got to take a bath before, much less a bubble bath. It was a little weird being naked with Thomas in the room, but they didn't mind too much. They were a little surprised to see the red scars that were on both sides of their chest, but Thomas didn't seem too worried about it, so it must be normal. The air was a bit cold on their legs, which were still damp and itchy. They really hoped Thomas would hurry up with this bath so their legs would stop feeling icky.   
"Alright, buddy, you gotta leave Toto out here." Thomas said, turning the tap off.   
Leave Toto? But what if something bad happened to him? Andy shook their head, holding Toto tighter to their chest.  
"If he goes in the bath with you, he'll be all wet and you can't take him to Toys R Us." Thomas prompted, attempting to reason with the toddler. But Andy was very firm.  
"No, Darkneth get him." Andy explained, lisping with the pacifier in their mouth. Thomas looked at them, confused and slightly concerned.  
"Darkness? Sweetie, it's day out. Darkness isn't getting to anyone." Thomas explained, seeming very sympathetic. Andy shook their head. Thomas didn't understand them either. They weren't scared of the dark!  
"No, the Darkneth! It's a thuper bad thing an 'tanley has it! It's really mean an it kills everyfing that's good an happy!" Andy elaborated, trying to get Thomas to understand. They made sure to make it as clear as possible, sense grown ups have a very hard time understanding things. Thomas nodded sadly.  
"You mean mental illness." Thomas clarified, setting his hand softly on Andy's knee. Finally, somebody understood them!  
"Yeth! Like that eccept its real an it can hurt people! It killed the girl in the bafment an it tried to kill Flower an now its trying to kill me!" Thomas looked at the child with sad eyes. Oh no, did they say something bad?  
"Andy, I know it seems really scary, like a big bad monster that's never going away. I know. I have it sometimes too. But it can't kill you. I'll protect you and Toto from the Darkness. I promise."   
Andy blinked at Thomas, confused. It can't kill them? Then how did it get to the girl? Maybe she just didn't have anybody to keep her safe.  
"Okay." They agreed, giving Toto one last hug before setting him down and stepping into the bath.   
They soon learned rubber duckies are very boring if you have only one, but bubbles are another story. They used the suds to carefully mold a castle, and then promptly destroyed it, slamming their arms into the sudsy palace. Water splashed everywhere and they squealed with joy as water fell back down into the tub and splashed them. They splashed the water again, giggling as water went everywhere. They didn't even realize they had soaked Thomas completely until he started laughing, interrupting their playtime. They looked over and saw that Thomas was kneeling in a pool of water, absolutely soaked. They froze, expecting to be yelled at for making a mess, but Thomas just laughed. And so they did too, quietly at first, then full on belly laughing. Thomas reached out and start tickling their tummy, making them laugh even more.  
"You little stinker." He chuckled, making the toddler splash even more water everywhere.   
"Daddy! No more!" Andy demanded, still laughing. Thomas stopped, taken aback by being called daddy. Andy noticed immediately.  
"I mean, Thomas." They corrected themself, sitting up in the bathtub.   
"No, no, it's alright. You can call me daddy if you want to. It just surprised me." Thomas found that he was blushing. Andy smiled. They liked Thomas a lot. And now Thomas was their daddy.  
\-----------------------------------------  
Andy sat watching Disney channel on the couch while Thomas cleaned the kitchen and bathroom. They didn't really know the show they were watching, but it had lions in it, and it was cool. Thomas was getting dressed in his bedroom when Andy heard two voices that sounded incredibly familiar. Andy listened intently to the two gorillas as they spoke. They knew those British accents somewhere. And that hair looked really familiar too.  
"That's Dan and Phil!" They shouted as soon as the names popped into their head. They bounced excitedly. Dan and Phil! They loved Dan and Phil!  
"What was that?" Thomas came out carrying a pair of shoes. Andy pointed eagerly at the tv.  
"Listen, that's Dan and Phil!" They exclaimed. Thomas listened for a second as he put his shoes on.  
"It is! Isn't that cool?" He said, playing into Andy's excitement.   
"Yeah! I love Dan and Phil!" Andy stated, still bouncing with joy.  
"They're really nice if you get to meet them." Thomas said, getting up and grabbing Andy's shoes.   
"I bet they are! Dan's really really funny."  
Thomas kneeled in front of Andy and helped them get their shoes on. He figured Andy didn't really know how to tie their shoes yet.  
"Don't forget about Phil." Thomas reminded them.  
"Oh yeah, he's funny too!" Andy agreed with a huge smile.  
"Ready to go?" Thomas asked, grabbing his wallet off the kitchen counter.  
"Up?" Andy asked, raising their arms to Thomas. He smiled and lifted up the child, carrying them to the car.  
The car ride was full of the two singing along to familiar Disney songs and Andy babbling on about their favorite Disney movie, Mulan. Thomas listened with interest, amused by the lively child.   
"And it's really cool because Mulan is a boy and a girl, so she's just like me." Andy revealed. Thomas looked over at the child, slightly thrown off by them casually mentioning this.  
"So you're non-binary?" Thomas asked, eyes back on the road.  
"What's that mean?" Andy asked, intrigued by this new term.  
"Well it means that you're not only a boy and not only a girl. Like you aren't just a boy, like I am, but you're a boy and a girl, which would make you non binary." Thomas explained.   
"Oooh. Yeah, I'm non biarny." Andy said, nodding their head.  
"What are your pronouns?" Thomas asked.  
"Huh?"   
"Your pronouns. Like what people call you." Thomas explained again.  
"People call me Andy." Andy said, confused. They thought Thomas knew that. Thomas chuckled.  
"No I mean like 'he went over there' 'they said hi' 'she likes pandas'. Like that."  
"Oh, I like the second one."   
"They/them?"  
"Yep."  
Thomas nodded.  
"Alright cool."  
And with that Andy returned to talking about Mulan and how awesome it was.  
\--------------------------------------------------------  
Andy ran into the toy store, despite Thomas yelling at them to wait for him. It was incredible. Suddenly Toys R Us seemed like a magical place when they actually were allowed to get stuff from there. Before they only got toys that they managed to steal from Walmart, and those were always tiny and lame. But now they could get anything.  
"Andy!" Thomas called as he walked into the store. Andy turned around, startled out of his wonder.   
"Yeah?" they responded, slightly impatient. Why did daddy take so long getting to the store? They wanted to go look at toys!  
"Next time you wait for me, okay?" Thomas said, taking Andy's hand in his own.  
"Sorry daddy." Andy apologized, keeping their voice low, not wanting anybody to hear them calling Thomas daddy. They knew that people might think they were being gross. They'd met plenty of people online that made being like them icky. They didn't like those people to much and they didn't want anybody to think they were like that.  
"It's okay, kiddo, just next time, alright?" Thomas requested. Andy nodded their head.  
"Can we look at toys now?" Andy asked, excited to see what they can get.   
"Let's go." Thomas said, letting Andy lead the way as he grabbed a cart.   
Thomas learned very quickly that Andy was very fond of building things, and despite already having multiple sets of Lego at home, Thomas let Andy grab three sets, as well as a bucket of Duplo. In fact, he discovered that Andy enjoyed many of the same things he did. It seemed the toddler was a big fan of Disney movies, Star Wars, and Steven Universe. As the cart filled up, Thomas realized it was very likely he wasn't getting out of here spending only two hundred. He just had a hard time saying no. But when it seemed his bill was going to be twice what he expected, Thomas decided that he'd have to tell the child that they can't get anything else. Andy took the news very well, seeming to be very happy with their haul. But they had one last thing they wanted.  
"Can I get Toto a friend?" They asked, holding the dog up as though they were speaking as him. Thomas smiled. He just couldn't say no.   
"Sure. I'm going to go grab some things, so you stay by the stuffed animals until I get back, alright?" He said. Andy nodded happily and skipped off to the stuffed animals. Thomas watched them and then walked the cart over to the baby and toddler section. He was glad that Andy wanted to look at stuffed animals because he knew there would've been opposition as he grabbed a box of pull-ups. He hid it behind the Duplo box and proceeded to grab a few sippy cups, toddler silverware, a pacifier clip, a new pacifier, and a baby bottle. He doubted he'd need the baby bottle, but it never hurt to be prepared. He returned to Andy who was holding Toto as well as a very fluffy stuffed dinosaur.  
"Is that Toto's new friend?" Thomas asked, knowing the answer already.   
"Yep! Toto really liked him. His name is Rory." Andy said, clearly very happy. Thomas smiled softly. He was glad he could make this kid so happy.  
"Are you ready to checkout?" Thomas asked. Andy nodded and hopped on the back of the cart, letting Thomas push them to the checkout. They waved at every single parent and child on the way.   
"It's so sweet of you to take care of your disabled brother like that. If my child was like that, I don't know how I'd take it." A parent said to Thomas as the two passed. Thomas was disgusted by the woman for both assuming Andy was disabled and calling them a burden.   
"Well you know, I'm just a decent human being." He said and walked away. He was normally very polite and tolerant, but he didn't have time for parents that think handicapped kids are any less amazing. After that, Andy stepped off the cart and stopped waving at people. Thomas wanted to yell at the woman for discouraging Andy from being themself. Instead he just grabbed their hand and led them to checkout, where the two were greeted by a smiling middle aged woman. Thomas waved and started placing the many toys on the counter. The pull ups went up last, earning Thomas a very stern glare from Andy. Thomas giggled. It was actually just adorable.   
"Your total is $436.89." The woman said. Thomas winced a bit at the price, but he pulled out his credit card anyway. Luckily, Andy hadn't heard the price of everything, because Thomas knew that if Stanley hated people spending money on him, Andy probably did too. He loaded the bags in the cart, thanked the women and went out to the car. On the ride home, Andy fell asleep with a smile, holding Toto and Rory tight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, so I'm just going to say this now, I don't support Toys R Us because they support Autism $peaks (An ableist organization that wants to cure autism, despite there being nothing wrong with autism), I only included Toys R Us in the story because of how recognizable it is. And the pronoun switches between Andy is because of the change in POV. Andy uses they/them pronouns, but since Thomas doesn't know that yet, his POV uses he/him. Also, if you have any suggestions, I love audience input and incorporating your guys's ideas.   
> -Winnie


End file.
